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A Relationship Isn’t the Cure

Updated: Mar 4, 2023

I read an awesome blog yesterday (you can check it out here Jealous Jelly Bean) that reminded me of the struggles we as women have with wanting to be married and how hard it is to see everyone else around us advancing in areas we can only hope to advance in one day. It also reminded me of how saddened God is when there is anything in our hearts that we long for more than having an intimate relationship with him. That doesn’t include just a few prayers here and there and a few scriptures that come across your phone. I mean REALLY knowing him. Knowing his voice and having conversations with him. Allowing your everyday decisions to be led by the Holy Spirit. Basking in his presence daily because you realize you need him more than anything. God desperately desires to be our all in all and is so heart broken when we seek that from another human, specifically seeking that in a relationship. So hence the title of this blog….a relationship simply isn’t the cure.

Isaiah 30:18 So the LORD must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help. (NLT)

Psalm 139:13-17 13You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous–how well I know it. 15You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. 16You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. 17 precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! (NLT)

God’s heart towards us as indicated in those scriptures is absolutely amazing. It’s so hurtful to God for us to think that anything can ever fulfill us and bring us more happiness than he can. He created you. He knows you better than any man or woman ever can! Imagine how sad God must be to see his creations whom he longs for so dearly longing for something else. It’s like being madly in love with someone who is madly in love with someone else. It breaks his hurt.

The true question is are you truly ready for what you think you’re ready for? Are you ready to do a relationship God’s way? That means no sex. That means God truly being at the center. That means seeing that person as your brother and sister in Christ and calling each other higher so that you both make it to heaven. That means not trying to see how the relationship benefits you but how it benefits God’s kingdom. One good indication of that is if you feel like you need it as opposed to knowing it’d just be a nice addition to how blessed you already are.

I’ll be the first to admit that this thing that we all seem to long for is not a walk in the park. Even in my relationship I have to talk through insecurities with him and set very strict boundaries in order to remain pure and honor God. It helps a ton to have someone who is as committed to honoring God as I am. For us that looks like not kissing until marriage, that looks like not being alone a lot, that looks like having hard conversations and delivering messages out of love, that looks like limiting how emotional we allow ourselves to become when its not appropriate, it looks like analyzing over and over where we are spiritually and how we can help the other grow in others we may be weak in. We stand on one strong premise and that is that “bae” wont be “bae” in heaven. So at the point that this relationship is no longer growing us spiritually consider it a done deal. That’s simply because we love God way more than we love one another. We’re only in this relationship because it allows us to experience God’s love in a much greater capacity thanks to God seeing fit for that to happen. We’re not together because we really like each other or because he’s great company or because I think I can see myself with him. We’re together simply because God presented us to one another and we accepted the call.

So…do a heart check. Why are you seeking a relationship? Is it because you want the company or because you want to bring God glory in that way? If it’s not the latter then why should God bless with you such?

Yours in love,


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