As I sit here listening to "To You" by Housefires I'm reminded of my hope for this year.
I really wanted to have a plan for this year. I really wanted fresh vision. Fresh wind. All fresh errthang.
But that's not my experience this year. Nothing feels special. There's nothing I can say I'm really looking forward to. I'm just here.....being.
As I reflect on this I'm reminded of how much of my life hasn't been this way. I'm also reminded of how much our culture pushes back on this. So much of our life is consumed with what we do. Not who we get to be.
This year I want to focus on who I want to be. Not all the things I need to do.
I want to be a great wife. I want to be a great friend. I want to be a great family member. I want to be a great daughter. I want to be a great employee. I want to be a great CEO. I want to be a great disciple.
My default tends to focus on the things I need to do in order to be a great _______. But this year I'm asking myself how can I l live out of the overflow not out of striving?
How can I prioritize my life in such a way that being great in all these aspects of my identity is an overflow? What speed of life and rhythms do I need to embrace to make room for this?
As this year closed I felt myself pulling back. I was pulling back from many of the things I was doing because I felt I should and asking myself what do I really want to do. This isn't to be confused with the fact that many times we have to do things we don't want to do out of obedience...but this isn't that situation.
Instead I'm asking myself...
What are the things that I really enjoy throwing myself into? How can I release myself from constantly living by a checklist of shoulds and instead embrace a new adventure with God where everyday is truly done with him.
Some of the things I came up with were...
This calls for a removal of my just first thing in the morning quiet time. How can I embrace God all day?
This calls for a moving away from just traditional church. How can I get back to the basics of that Acts 2 community we read about?
This calls for the removal of so many online voices. Who do I choose to allow to pour into my life as opposed to accepting what so many are offering.
So after much contemplation the Lord did eventually place a word for the year on my heart.
STEADFAST.
1 Cor 15:58 So, my dear brothers and sisters, be steadfast and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.
Steadfast - resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering.
This year I want to be steadfast. I want to do this by keeping my eyes up focused on the one true prize...my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Lord I thank you that you've kept me. This year in November if you will it I will celebrate 10 years of walking faithfully with you. My heart overflows with gratitude because you've kept me. Through disappointments. Through transitions. Through heartbreak. Through weariness. Through faithlessness. Through doubt. Through confusion.
You've kept me.
You are continuing to finish your work in me. I'm humbled and I'm very very grateful for your commitment to me. You alone truly do deserve my praise and my life.
I love you Jesus.
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