Well friends it has been a while. When I sat down to write this blog I had no idea what I wanted to focus on. There are so many avenues I can take because so much has gone on in the two months since my last post. God has been teaching me a TON so I’m just like where do I even start?! Well there’s been a song that has been my go to for a while now. The name of it is Oceans and it is by Hillsong United. Some of you may be familiar with it but if not you can check it out here —> Oceans
So the bridge of the song goes like this…
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the water, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.
I listen to that song just about every morning in my quiet time with God and it takes me back to the account of Peter walking on water. This account can be found in Matthew 14. Essentially what happens here is that a strong storm starts to occur and Jesus comes walking on water telling the disciples to fret not. Peter, in his bold faith, tells Jesus that if it is really him that he wants to walk on the water too. Jesus permits him to do so and then Peter sees the strong waves and starts to sink. His faith started to fail him. And yet Jesus reaches out to save him and simply asks, “Why did you doubt me?”
I think this scene with Peter sounds a lot like our lives from time to time. Something happens in our life and Jesus shows up and comes through in the clutch. Sometimes we’re not sure if it’s really Jesus so we ask and pray for a sign that it is really him. Jesus gives us that sign, but as soon as something starts to go wrong again our faith fails and we begin to sink. Yet again, Jesus comes through in the clutch and asks, “Why did you doubt me?” I see this play out in so many areas of my life. I feel as though my faith is tested everyday. On my job, in my relationship, in my friendships, now in wedding planning, and it all comes back to my relationship with God.
The beauty of this song Oceans and what I can appreciate so much is that what the singer is asking of God is to lead her out to a place in which there is no border of how far her faith will stretch. Imagine being on a beach and looking out over the ocean. You see no end in sight.How beautiful is a faith in God in which there is no end in sight? How beautiful is a faith in God in which there is no limit to what he is capable of and how far he will go for you? It sounds like huge faith right? But that is exactly the place that God wants us to be in. This concept is so hard for my feeble human brain to grasp. That God is the creator of the universe and there is absolutely NOTHING that he cannot do.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me.
Now that second sentence does it for me. “Wherever you would call me.” That means no matter what the task is God and how big of a test of my faith it is I want to be able to step out like Peter did and walk upon those waters.
God:Leave everything behind you and move to a new city?
Me:*Walks upon the water*
God: Humble out and truly make Jesus Christ Lord of your life.
Me: *Walks upon the water*
God: Leave the singles ministry and serve in the teen ministry.
Me: *Walks upon the water*
God: Date and marry Jonathan.
Me: *Walks upon the water*
Now what’s missing in between is all the times that I began to sink and Jesus had to pull me back up. After moving to a new city I started to miss friends and miss family and think that maybe being so far away from home wasn’t the best idea. I began to sink. After making Jesus Lord of my life and realizing what I chose to give up I questioned if I would be able to finish the race I’d signed up for. I began to sink. When I felt uncomfortable and out of my comfort zone once joining the teens I questioned if I’d truly heard God in my decision. I began to sink. When the conflict between Jon and I seems never ending and I question if I missed God somewhere during the process I begin to sink.
You see sometimes even with a faith like Peters’ it starts to fail us when the waves seem too big. Today was one of those days for me. Emotions were flaring. Thoughts were running wild and I’m wondering where God is in all the confusion. It’s then that I realize that he’s standing right there on the water with me waiting for me to reach out and take his hand. With each step of faith that God has asked of me he has done just what the song states. He has “taken me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith has been made stronger in His presence.” THAT’S the beauty of this faith walk. Every single time Jesus pulls me back up I able to take a much bigger step each time. Even through the many many tears I cry and the many many prayers I pray I can honestly say that I am so encouraged by God. I am encouraged that he thinks enough of me to walk with me on this journey, hold me by my hand, lead me, guide me, and give me exactly what I need. And in the moments in which I’m stubborn, prideful, and refuse to take his hand because I really want to figure it out he stands there and waits patiently for me to come to my senses.
So yes, the reward that you see from God in the form of what looks like having it all comes at a price. There has to be a lot of fight in you to persevere and take the next big faith walk that God has called you to. Is it easy? No. But who wants easy right? In the near future I’ll share much more about my journey and everything God is teaching me. One thing that I’ve learned is that there is an opportune time to share some things as opposed to others and I can’t wait until God gives me that go ahead in hopes that your soul is also encouraged by his awesome work in my life. So be encouraged. You’re not alone on this faith walk nor will you ever be. When your feet begin to sink know that God is only wanting for you to cusp your hand in his and there your faith will be made whole.
Your in love,